Many believe that the most important relationships sustained in a lifetime are those between parent and child, husband and wife and between siblings.

I agree that these relationships are valuable and should be honored. But the motor that keeps the healthy dynamics of these relationships running would not exist without the foundation of a loving and open relationship with our Heavenly Father.

In my lifetime, God and religion have been synonymous. This connotation may be the etiology of my cynicism regarding organized religion. There are so many religions that espouse many of the same or familiar doctrines.

In whatever voice that they choose to speak, utilizing various euphemisms, they all vent about the hell and damnation we are all destined for if certain "bylaws" are not heeded. It would appear that these laws were the stars of the entire show.

Religion seems to spend the majority of its time beating its congregation over the head with customized bibles in God's name. Unlike the majority in my community, at a young age I did not acquiesce in voluntary submission to the rhetoric.

I balked at the mandatory disciplines that overshadowed any attempts to answer my growing biblical confusion and gnawing spiritual concerns. I could not get next to the idea that I was to bow down to this almighty Presence in servitude that remained an enigma.

That was all well and good for Him, but what did I get out of the deal. No one took the time to make me cognizant of the truth or make me aware that there was one.

In my journey for the truth, I have crossed many of man's humble and ostentatious thresholds that bore the words that led me to believe that He actually resided in these places.

Instead, I always came away from these structures and their devout beliefs even more saddened by an inner certainty that was beginning to develop by watching these people pronounce one thing and exhibit another. He does not exist.

I lived many, many years believing that He did not exist. I did not dispute that there was a Higher Power.

We all had to come from somewhere.

I just did not believe that this powerful entity everyone ascribed to was real. How could He exist when his followers committed sin on a daily basis and there were so many horrendous things going on in the world?

While I was not given the answer to the questions of life, I was fascinated by the fact that self-proclaimed, true Christians continued to cross my path and to befriend me. None of my new friends of God attempted to convert, lecture or scare me into believing.

They did allow me to bear witness to their inner serenity, dedication and their unconditional love for Him. I would marvel at their ability to encounter severe hardships and obstacles with the unshakable Faith that He would take care of it.

I would shake my head at such idioms as "Give it over to God" and "All things are possible with God". I would be incredulous after watching them work tirelessly forever to achieve a certain goal and after immediate attainment they would "Give the Glory to God" and "Thank Him" for the blessing.

Depending on the day and/or my mood, I would smirk at these poor people and their inability to recognize the real Truth as I saw it. They were the ones causing their own daily "miracles" to happen.

They were the masters of their destinies. It was all Them. It had absolutely nothing to do with Him.

Even as I made these disparaging (and to others blasphemous) statements, I was filled with a palpable envy and desire to feel what these people knew in their souls. I wished that I could believe in something so much.

I wanted to have the Faith and the courage to give my life to this intangible image. But I could not get past the rigorous agenda mandated by the organized religions that would allow Him into my life.

A few more years passed and certain events culminated into a tumultuous turning point in my life. The dissolution of many of my familiars was the catalyst that made starting over a necessity. Before I could settle into the life I was envisioning for myself I had to first overcome huge obstacles and find a place to set all of the heavy burdens that I carried.

By the time my life reached this point I had incorporated prayer in my life….just in case. I was comfortable in prayer and my point of contact was embodied in the vague ambiguity of the Higher Power. (H.P. for short.) So, I was comfortable praying to H.P. while continually giving myself credit for pulling rabbits out of hats during times of crisis.

Then there came a time when there weren't any more hats, but the rabbits inexplicably continued to appear. With the appearance of each right on time rabbit, I was no longer able to give myself credit. I could only offer a humble thanks to whomever.

With each astounding "coincidence" that placed me in the right place at the right time. Again, thanks were offered to… Combine these happenings with the life accumulation of information and I was faced with a glaring probability.

A reality that I could no longer ignore: God not only exists, but we have been having a relationship for a very long time.

This is where it becomes difficult. I did not become a True Believer over night. I still do not belong traditionally to an organized religion. I do not follow the philosophies and policies dictated by any formal group, but I do enjoy and find great serenity in my God relationship. Today, I give all of the glory to God.

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