Brothers, you could call this a heads-up column for those among us who happen to be single.
The hurricane lamp is lit, and the storm warning flags are up.
You single brothers are going to be in for a major storm on the dating scene, later this year.
When the winds are blowing, and the waves are high, you can think back on the column and say: 'Yup, Mike warned me about this one.'
Recently, I happened across one of the late night news offerings on ABC-TV, and the author of the book: 'Date Like A Man' was the featured guest.
"The RULES are out!"
She proudly proclaimed, making reference to a book written by two women about five years ago that urged women to return to being pursued by men, rather than pursuing men.
As the interview continued to unfold during the pre-dawn hours, I could not believe that this author had the nerve to call herself a dating 'coach', and was actually advising single women to mimic the behavior that they hate in single men.
You know what I mean--the so-called 'date and dump' mentality.
The next day, I did a quick Internet search and found a brief bio on this book.
Based on the information contained in the info bit, I could see a bunch of single women spending their hard-earned cash trying to come up with a new way to trick, trap, and catch Mr. Right.
If a few women happen to buy this book and are successful in applying the information contained within the covers, then this work will appear on coffee tables, college and university bookstores, and on other information offerings of the feminized mainstream press.
Unfortunately, single men are going to bear the brunt of this 'feminized' blast of written desperation.
This book is aimed right at you, make no mistake about it!
So, to level the playing field and give you a fighting chance, I dedicate this column to the single men out there in the crowd, from the streets to the suites.
A little practical advice for the single men among us: Watch out for this latest wave of dating hype--among others.
WHAT IS A 'TSUNAMI'?
A Tsunami is a tidal wave, generated by an undersea earthquake.
Thus, an unseen shifting of the earth, underwater, in one part of the world could generate an unseen shock wave that could ripple into killer proportions and wipe out a village or town--miles away from where the quake occurred.
But, the killing doesn't end there.
After a village or town is destroyed, the killer wave then sucks the remains out to sea, via a powerful undertow.
Who was it that said that public education was useless?
Anyway, Tsunamis are hard to track, impossible to stop, and refuse to be subjected to negotiation.
Think of the book: 'Date Like A Man' as the unseen earth shift.
Think of the ripples staring to form before the weather begins to get warm, as dozens of single--and otherwise intelligent women--are going to be reading this book.
Think of yourself as the village about to get wiped out!
Thing of your manhood being buried beneath tons of water!
Now, you catch my pitch!
Just as single men are starting to get their reputations back in this new millennium after some twenty years of being bashed, along comes an author with a new dating 'theory', designed to make a few dollars and put single men in the crosshairs.
HOW TO SURVIVE THE TSUNAMI:
Now, brothers, let me state up front that there is nothing wrong with dating, in the traditional sense.
If you are a brother of character, are upright, hard-working and moral, with a firm foundation in biblical truth--then you will, naturally, be attracted to a woman of the same character.
However, there is a difference between dating and manipulating.
If you don't know the difference, you better ask an older, married brother who has a good home life to explain the difference to you.
But, I digress.
If a woman has to trick you, trap you, or put a spell on you (yes, there is a book out which covers that very topic) to convince you that she is more than 'that one' and should be thought of as 'THE one'--RUN--DO NOT WALK-- TO THE NEAREST EXIT!
That's one way to survive a Tsunami--leave the area when you know that a wave is coming and you are about to be conned by a less-than-honest woman.
There are a few other great ways for single brothers to survive against this coming dating tidal wave.
Yes, they may sound cruel, but we are talking about your emotional, financial, and in some cases physical, survival brother.
The last thing you need is to get buried at sea, with a gravestone that reads: 'Not bright enough to heed the warning signs'.
MORE SURVIVAL TIPS:
Again, these are just a few tips to survive the dating scene, now that this book may be making the rounds.
You may come up with a few more, but here are some basics:
Avoid any woman who has a copy of this book, or any dating book where you can see it!
Beware of the woman who won't let you open her door, or in any other way let you treat her like a lady.
Avoid any woman who will not allow you to pray for her, and ask her to pray for you!
Beware of the woman who constantly travels in a 'pack' with her single (or married) friends.
Steer clear of a woman who has a bumper sticker paying homage to witchcraft, or the 'B' word.
If she can outfight you, out drink you, and out cuss you, she is not for YOU!
Candy, flowers, and dinners--YES! Paying her bills and financing her lifestyle--NO!
Never date a woman who has a job that involves a badge, gun, or military training--unless you have the same training and mindset.
Want to know what she really thinks about men? Meet her father and brothers when possible.
Listen carefully as to how she talks about them. She's really talking about you.
Thinking about marriage? Want to know how she will be in twenty or thirty years?
Meet her mother!
This will speak volumes to you. The apple seldom falls too far from the tree.
Check her out on the Internet. You can bet that she is checking you out if she is reading any of the aforementioned books, magazines, or piles of dating propaganda.
Is she already living with a man? Steer clear.
Is she on Prozac, Ritalin, or any other major league medication? Steer clear.
Is she single because of a divorce? Ask to see the final decree. Are you single because of a divorce? Offer to 'pony up' yours-without question.
Does she have kids? Tread lightly--because you have to win them and her too.
Never date a woman in your neighborhood or apartment complex--for safety reasons. Never, ever, date a woman on your job.
This is called 'career suicide'.
Don't give up your work number unless she is willing to do the same.
If you do exchange numbers on the job, remember to not abuse the privilege and ask her to do the same.
Office gossip is still office gossip, regardless of who is making the calls.
If it does not work out, have enough courtesy to end it as friends--and not with a restraining order.
This is a true Old School maxim--don't bed her, until you wed her.
It cuts down on you carrying emotional baggage.
Her biological clock may be ticking, but yours should be on 'standby' until you have popped the question.
A lot of single women these days want to have kids--but not a husband--and have some poor single sap paying child support.
For heaven's sake--don't talk about 'living together'.
That subject, even during our so-called 'enlightened' era spells disaster.
You and she need your living space.
Let your friends meet her--especially your female friends.
Feedback from a friend can spare you a lot of future heartache. This is truth!
Above all--be yourself. Yes, be on your best behavior, but who you are is what brought you two together in the first place.
Lastly--don't date someone who is outside of your spiritual zone. If you go to church, temple, or mosque, tell her so up front and invite her to join you.
Such a trip will do more to illustrate her character around your worship family.
Dating and courtship are not as hard as people make them out to be. You are not perfect, and neither is she.
Accept the shortcomings, along with the life lifters. Masks are meant for Costume Balls, not for relationships.
Mike Ramey
Ramey is a syndicated columnist, minister and
journalist and his monthly column has nearly 2 million
readers across the US, Canada, and the Bahamas.
Letters Welcome from friend or foe alike. Drop a line
to The Manhood Line, c/o Mike Ramey, PO Box 20131,
Indianapolis, Indiana, 46220 or email
manhoodline@yahoo.com
http://mypages.netopia.com/manhoodline. Copyright
2001 Barnstorm Communications (11)
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